If anything, my life is full of controlled chaos and frustration right now. I found this video and it was relaxing; mesmerizing even. No jokes today. Just enjoy this.
If you want entertainment, look here.
Enjoy homies.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
Most Annoying Question in the World
So sorry for the three months of silence. Living in Simi Valley doesn't have quite the same charms and time availability as BYU. It sufficeth me to say that those were the glory days. Life now is largely boring. I work all day and then come home and teach piano lessons. I might hang out with someone if it's a good day. Otherwise, I live a largely boring life. I tried to write something a while back about the Tupac hologram at Coachella. It was alright, but my heart just wasn't in it. So I'm going to try to make up for it with some ranting. Oh also, I've decided to put random links in here to things I'm discussing or things I just like. It's an adventure because you never know what I've placed behind that blue link.
Roughly a month ago, I finally got my mission call. Being the baller I am, I decided to open it up at Carl's Jr. with my parents. Nothing fancy. Except we were at Carl's Jr. Which is freaking awesome. Anyways, I opened that filth up and it was the perfect mission call. New York, New York South, Spanish speaking. The city so good they named it twice. And Spanish speaking? So tight. It was a very exciting moment in my life. I proceeded to make a number of calls and post it on Facebook to get started on my most liked status to date. 226 to be exact. Almost double my previous status about Fergalicious. Back in the days when 123 was my record. Good times. My Facebook whoring is only getting better with time.
Regardless, people are finding out about my mission call. And when people at home see me, it's been a while since they've seen me last. You know, the whole, I went away to college thing. So they ask me what I'm doing. Inevitably, the mission call comes up. And let me tell you. Without fail. Every single time the mission call is brought up in conversation. Whoever the person is. Whatever their relation to me. They will ask: Are you excited?
For those of you who have never experienced this question in this situation before, let me tell you, it is the most annoying, frustrating, stupid question in the world. When people ask me this question, the only thing I feel for them is pure, bitter hate. This sums up what I'd like to do to people who ask me this question.
Seriously though. Of all the things you could possibly ask me about my mission, you're choosing to ask if I'm excited? No. Screw you. And the horse you rode in on. Of course I'm excited! Why else would I give up two years of my life and pay all this money voluntarily? If I wasn't excited about it, I wouldn't be going. Think of all the other potential questions. Maybe, what cities are in your area? What do you know about Puerto Ricans? Are you concerned about getting shot? Have you brushed up on your New York rappers?
As for that last question, absolutely. At least, I'm definitely working on it. I've decided to go find any and all rap songs about New York and start learning them now. Good thing I've always loved Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z. Such a great song. And Alicia Keys kills the chorus. So good.
So if you ever talk to me, whoever you are, you're welcome to ask me more or less, any question you'd like. But if you ask me if I'm excited for my mission, I will smack you across the face. And probably light you on fire afterward. Just a fair warning.
Aside from that huge frustration in my life, that's about it for my life. I'll see what else I can write on here in the near future. Maybe I'll even go back and fix my Tupac hologram post. Because looking back on it, it was pretty bad. Or maybe I'll finally write about why I hate Mormon culture. That was the reason I started this blog. I'll get there someday. In the meantime, enjoy some B.O.B. on New York.
Roughly a month ago, I finally got my mission call. Being the baller I am, I decided to open it up at Carl's Jr. with my parents. Nothing fancy. Except we were at Carl's Jr. Which is freaking awesome. Anyways, I opened that filth up and it was the perfect mission call. New York, New York South, Spanish speaking. The city so good they named it twice. And Spanish speaking? So tight. It was a very exciting moment in my life. I proceeded to make a number of calls and post it on Facebook to get started on my most liked status to date. 226 to be exact. Almost double my previous status about Fergalicious. Back in the days when 123 was my record. Good times. My Facebook whoring is only getting better with time.
Regardless, people are finding out about my mission call. And when people at home see me, it's been a while since they've seen me last. You know, the whole, I went away to college thing. So they ask me what I'm doing. Inevitably, the mission call comes up. And let me tell you. Without fail. Every single time the mission call is brought up in conversation. Whoever the person is. Whatever their relation to me. They will ask: Are you excited?
For those of you who have never experienced this question in this situation before, let me tell you, it is the most annoying, frustrating, stupid question in the world. When people ask me this question, the only thing I feel for them is pure, bitter hate. This sums up what I'd like to do to people who ask me this question.
Seriously though. Of all the things you could possibly ask me about my mission, you're choosing to ask if I'm excited? No. Screw you. And the horse you rode in on. Of course I'm excited! Why else would I give up two years of my life and pay all this money voluntarily? If I wasn't excited about it, I wouldn't be going. Think of all the other potential questions. Maybe, what cities are in your area? What do you know about Puerto Ricans? Are you concerned about getting shot? Have you brushed up on your New York rappers?
As for that last question, absolutely. At least, I'm definitely working on it. I've decided to go find any and all rap songs about New York and start learning them now. Good thing I've always loved Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z. Such a great song. And Alicia Keys kills the chorus. So good.
So if you ever talk to me, whoever you are, you're welcome to ask me more or less, any question you'd like. But if you ask me if I'm excited for my mission, I will smack you across the face. And probably light you on fire afterward. Just a fair warning.
Aside from that huge frustration in my life, that's about it for my life. I'll see what else I can write on here in the near future. Maybe I'll even go back and fix my Tupac hologram post. Because looking back on it, it was pretty bad. Or maybe I'll finally write about why I hate Mormon culture. That was the reason I started this blog. I'll get there someday. In the meantime, enjoy some B.O.B. on New York.
Friday, March 9, 2012
White Rappers
I had the greatest day of my life last Wednesday. And it all happened because of Twitter. Hoodie Allen tweeted back at me after I tweeted that I was excited to see his show in May. When I saw this, I literally got up and did a dance in my room. By myself. Without music. Then I proceeded to run down the hall and announce to anyone I met that Hoodie Allen tweeted at me. Granted, not one of the people I told had any idea who that was. Most people thought it was Woodie Allen, the filmmaker. Which I agree would have been pretty cool. But not quite as cool as this. Hoodie Allen will always hold a special place in my heart because his music is the inspiration for the name of my blog.
So recently I started thinking about the music I have been listening to most. And as I thought about it, the three rappers I listen to the most at the moment are all relatively unknown white guys. And I happened to discover all three of them through Youtube.
The first of these is Hoodie Allen. My friend sent me a text one day and asked if I had ever heard a song called "You are not a Robot." I hadn't, so I immediately found my way to a computer to check it out. Within a few minutes, I found myself entranced by this man.
Weird video, true, but I still think it's awesome. Ever since watching that, I found him on Facebook and discovered that he offers all his music for free. He's really a clever dude and he's got an interesting style. Check out his stuff on Facebook, you won't be disappointed.
The next of these is my homie George Watsky. I found him through a random Youtube video. It blew me away and I ended up watching videos of him rapping for the next hour or so after finding the first one.
I did some more research and found his self-titled album he had recently released. Being the pirate I am, I quickly downloaded that filth and started listening. My world has never been the same. Watsky began as a poet. I've listened to some of his poetry and it is way good. He has some really thought provoking and entertaining stuff. Go listen to him, either his poetry or his music, it's all fantastic.
Last of these is probably my favorite at the moment. I legitimately don't remember how I found this guy. I was delving into the deepest, darkest depths of the internet and stumbled upon something that led me to this video.
From the first viewing of this, I was hooked. I had to find everything this man had ever done in his life. I found a free mixtape he had recently released called Scrublife with this song on it. I started listening. And never stopped. Just about everything on there is golden. I have been listening to these songs for almost a year now and I'm still not tired of any of them. Last fall he released another mixtape called Eviction Notice. Wax had done it again. Almost every track made it's way into my list of favorite songs and many of them are still there. Wax has also had a solid influence on my blog. He has a song called "Limousine," where he talks about a flying limousine. It's a wonderful song and I loved the idea, that's why I stole it for the URL of this blog.
So when I saw Hoodie Allen announce that he was going to be touring with Wax this spring, all my wildest dreams had come true. It prompted me to tweet at them and resulted in the greatest day of my life with Hoodie Allen tweeting back. Wax also tweeted at me, but it wasn't nearly as exciting. So now I have to go to this concert. No matter the cost of the bridges I'll probably have to burn with my mother. It will be worth it.
I guess my reason for writing all this is that I just want to share these gems with the world. If you have a spare moment, go listen to them. Not everyone is going to love them like I do, but it never hurts to check them out. Anyways, after having talked about white rappers for so long, all I can think of now is Dom Mazzetti. So I'll end with this.
That's justice.
Last of these is probably my favorite at the moment. I legitimately don't remember how I found this guy. I was delving into the deepest, darkest depths of the internet and stumbled upon something that led me to this video.
From the first viewing of this, I was hooked. I had to find everything this man had ever done in his life. I found a free mixtape he had recently released called Scrublife with this song on it. I started listening. And never stopped. Just about everything on there is golden. I have been listening to these songs for almost a year now and I'm still not tired of any of them. Last fall he released another mixtape called Eviction Notice. Wax had done it again. Almost every track made it's way into my list of favorite songs and many of them are still there. Wax has also had a solid influence on my blog. He has a song called "Limousine," where he talks about a flying limousine. It's a wonderful song and I loved the idea, that's why I stole it for the URL of this blog.
So when I saw Hoodie Allen announce that he was going to be touring with Wax this spring, all my wildest dreams had come true. It prompted me to tweet at them and resulted in the greatest day of my life with Hoodie Allen tweeting back. Wax also tweeted at me, but it wasn't nearly as exciting. So now I have to go to this concert. No matter the cost of the bridges I'll probably have to burn with my mother. It will be worth it.
I guess my reason for writing all this is that I just want to share these gems with the world. If you have a spare moment, go listen to them. Not everyone is going to love them like I do, but it never hurts to check them out. Anyways, after having talked about white rappers for so long, all I can think of now is Dom Mazzetti. So I'll end with this.
That's justice.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Ideas
So I'm in this dumb Anthropology class. Which should really be called an African Studies class because all the professor knows about is Africa. And I guess this isn't necessarily a bad thing. I just feel like it's a misleading title for a joke of a general ed. Seriously, that class is lame. Here's a picture of a cute African baby we watched a movie about once.
That's my boy Ponijao. He's a pretty chill negro.
Anyways, we have to read this dumb book that the professor wrote called "An Introduction to Anthropology." And, surprisingly, I actually find this book kind of interesting on occasion. Last week we read about the origin of ideas. I was fascinated by this chapter. Not fascinated enough to write thoughtful answers on the assignment, but enough to actually spend time thinking about this throughout the rest of the week.
It discussed how people come to have different ideas on things and how ideas become truths. And I got to thinking about this. Where did my ideas come from? Why do I believe the things I believe? How come I can accept that there are however many billion stars in the universe, but I don't trust a sign that says "Wet Paint"?
The book talks about ideas relating to an Anthropological standpoint. Which is boring to me. So of course, I related it to things that I care about. And that generally involves comedy and funny pictures of cats on the internet. How do people come up with funny things? I like to think that I'm a pretty clever guy, but then I go on the interned and I am blown away by how brilliant these people are, whoever they are. Take, for example, this picture I found the other day.
It's freaking genius. I had always just assumed pencil sharpeners were magical machines that somehow made your pencil sharper. I would never have thought to put a mini lumberjack inside of them though! It's incredible, the amount of genius you can find out there. There's also a lot of filth, but let's not get into that *cough*BYU Memes*cough*
So what makes these things funny? Is it the unexpectedness? Is it the imaginative acceptability? Does that last sentence even make sense to anyone other than myself? I've contemplated this question for a long time, and never really gotten anywhere. This is as close as I ever got to an answer.
Except imagine me passed out in a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles. Granted the cat is cuter though.
So I didn't really have any groundbreaking ideas to discuss here, I was just thinking out loud. Or thinking in text I guess. And I needed an excuse to put up some of these pictures I've found. Let's see if I can throw one more in there before the end of this.
Now with an abrupt topic change, Conquistador History Month seems to be going fairly well. I haven't been keeping up like I had hoped at one point, but my fellow conquistadors really took the idea to heart. Shout out to my homies and fellow conquistadors Emily Stewart and Olga Belikov. They have single-handedly kept the tradition alive where I have slacked. Our venture to California yielded even more conquering expeditions, including one Huntington Beach and a shopping cart in the middle of an intersection at three in the morning. There's only a week left, so I encourage everyone to do their best to conquer those things that they've always wanted to conquer.
Someday I will figure out what makes things funny and how we come up with these ideas. And when I do figure it out, I expect I'll look something like this:
That's my boy Ponijao. He's a pretty chill negro.
Anyways, we have to read this dumb book that the professor wrote called "An Introduction to Anthropology." And, surprisingly, I actually find this book kind of interesting on occasion. Last week we read about the origin of ideas. I was fascinated by this chapter. Not fascinated enough to write thoughtful answers on the assignment, but enough to actually spend time thinking about this throughout the rest of the week.
It discussed how people come to have different ideas on things and how ideas become truths. And I got to thinking about this. Where did my ideas come from? Why do I believe the things I believe? How come I can accept that there are however many billion stars in the universe, but I don't trust a sign that says "Wet Paint"?
The book talks about ideas relating to an Anthropological standpoint. Which is boring to me. So of course, I related it to things that I care about. And that generally involves comedy and funny pictures of cats on the internet. How do people come up with funny things? I like to think that I'm a pretty clever guy, but then I go on the interned and I am blown away by how brilliant these people are, whoever they are. Take, for example, this picture I found the other day.
It's freaking genius. I had always just assumed pencil sharpeners were magical machines that somehow made your pencil sharper. I would never have thought to put a mini lumberjack inside of them though! It's incredible, the amount of genius you can find out there. There's also a lot of filth, but let's not get into that *cough*BYU Memes*cough*
So what makes these things funny? Is it the unexpectedness? Is it the imaginative acceptability? Does that last sentence even make sense to anyone other than myself? I've contemplated this question for a long time, and never really gotten anywhere. This is as close as I ever got to an answer.
Except imagine me passed out in a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles. Granted the cat is cuter though.
So I didn't really have any groundbreaking ideas to discuss here, I was just thinking out loud. Or thinking in text I guess. And I needed an excuse to put up some of these pictures I've found. Let's see if I can throw one more in there before the end of this.
Now with an abrupt topic change, Conquistador History Month seems to be going fairly well. I haven't been keeping up like I had hoped at one point, but my fellow conquistadors really took the idea to heart. Shout out to my homies and fellow conquistadors Emily Stewart and Olga Belikov. They have single-handedly kept the tradition alive where I have slacked. Our venture to California yielded even more conquering expeditions, including one Huntington Beach and a shopping cart in the middle of an intersection at three in the morning. There's only a week left, so I encourage everyone to do their best to conquer those things that they've always wanted to conquer.
Someday I will figure out what makes things funny and how we come up with these ideas. And when I do figure it out, I expect I'll look something like this:
Thursday, February 9, 2012
The Mormonized World
So I made the decision in my life to come to this school called Brigham Young University. And don't get me wrong, I really do love this school. I have met some incredible people here and am learning wonderful things every day. Well, mostly every day. But anyways, as you probably know, this school is very Mormon. Which makes sense, as 98.6% of the students here are LDS and it is a designated religious school supported by the church and the First Presidency. All great stuff. And before I continue, I want to clarify that I know the church is true, and this post is in no way an affront to the Mormon religion.
If any of you have a Facebook and are friends with people at BYU, odds are very high that in the last three days your news feed has been assaulted by posts from a page called BYU memes. BYU memes was created by a good friend of mine and, I must admit, is an utterly genius idea. Taking memes, which are already hilarious on their own, and applying them to the stereotypes at BYU opens the door to a gold mine of comedy. And at first, the posts were of the utmost quality. Few people knew about it and those that did were willing to put in the time to come up with clever, insightful jokes about BYU. But over the next day, almost one thousand people joined this new page. And with more followers to the page, came more frequent posts at a hugely degraded quality.
The creators of the page are sick of the garbage that is put up and they're tired of people putting up offensive things and complaining when they are taken down. I have actually tried to avoid Facebook today because I don't want to see anymore stupid people posting stupid memes about BYU.
I do have a reason for telling this drawn-out story though, aside from purely venting my bitter anger and hate towards people who discover the internet and suck at it. It made me realize that when people take worldly things and try to Mormonize them, they end up being terrible. And this is only one example. Let's move onto another favorite topic of mine, movies.
Mormons have this thing with movies that is simply retarded. They feel that if someone goes through and edits out all of the bad parts that it becomes an okay movie to watch. First off, this straight up ruins the movie. Having seen a few of these edited movies myself, I find that it is truly a stupid practice. If you don't want to see these things, then don't watch the movie. Cutting out all of the bad parts of a film is like dropping food on the ground, brushing off some of the visible dust on it, and still eating it. Sure your bagel bite might look clean, but you did drop it on the floor and it's probably covered in invisible filth, especially if it's in the Cannon Center. On top of that, the edited versions really suck compared to the original. They take out so much of the film that it oftentimes becomes choppy and unclear in places. I believe that it ruins the integrity of the film. Just an example of Mormons taking something great (movies), and by Mormonizing them (editing), they become lame.
Another example is curse words. Mormons have taken curse words, altered them, made them stupid, and use them on a regular basis like they are the coolest ideas imaginable. Take, for example, the changing of "hella cool" to "hecka cool." Now you just sound ridiculous. Or perhaps "fetching" instead of the F-word. Not that I advocate the usage of said word, but if "fetching" is the best you can come up with as a substitute, then just don't talk. By saying "fetching," you have the same intent as saying the actual word, but you sound dumb as a brick. Again, not that I support the use of any curse words, but I hate that Mormons feel the need to swear, and so come up with these ridiculous substitutions. And if your alternate word sounds normal and flows well, I will gladly approve of it. Otherwise, Mormonized swearing is really a blight on our Mormon culture.
I guess that's enough ranting for now. But just watch out for examples of Mormonization in your world. I guarantee that if you are Mormon, you'll be able to find plenty of examples. And this isn't to say that everything Mormon is bad, I just find that when Mormons get ahold of good things, they oftentimes become crappy. So my advice to you I guess is to keep it real. Don't try to make things fit your culture. Accept them for what they are, whether good or bad, and let them be. Trust me, it will work out in everyone's best interest.
If any of you have a Facebook and are friends with people at BYU, odds are very high that in the last three days your news feed has been assaulted by posts from a page called BYU memes. BYU memes was created by a good friend of mine and, I must admit, is an utterly genius idea. Taking memes, which are already hilarious on their own, and applying them to the stereotypes at BYU opens the door to a gold mine of comedy. And at first, the posts were of the utmost quality. Few people knew about it and those that did were willing to put in the time to come up with clever, insightful jokes about BYU. But over the next day, almost one thousand people joined this new page. And with more followers to the page, came more frequent posts at a hugely degraded quality.
The creators of the page are sick of the garbage that is put up and they're tired of people putting up offensive things and complaining when they are taken down. I have actually tried to avoid Facebook today because I don't want to see anymore stupid people posting stupid memes about BYU.
I do have a reason for telling this drawn-out story though, aside from purely venting my bitter anger and hate towards people who discover the internet and suck at it. It made me realize that when people take worldly things and try to Mormonize them, they end up being terrible. And this is only one example. Let's move onto another favorite topic of mine, movies.
Mormons have this thing with movies that is simply retarded. They feel that if someone goes through and edits out all of the bad parts that it becomes an okay movie to watch. First off, this straight up ruins the movie. Having seen a few of these edited movies myself, I find that it is truly a stupid practice. If you don't want to see these things, then don't watch the movie. Cutting out all of the bad parts of a film is like dropping food on the ground, brushing off some of the visible dust on it, and still eating it. Sure your bagel bite might look clean, but you did drop it on the floor and it's probably covered in invisible filth, especially if it's in the Cannon Center. On top of that, the edited versions really suck compared to the original. They take out so much of the film that it oftentimes becomes choppy and unclear in places. I believe that it ruins the integrity of the film. Just an example of Mormons taking something great (movies), and by Mormonizing them (editing), they become lame.
Another example is curse words. Mormons have taken curse words, altered them, made them stupid, and use them on a regular basis like they are the coolest ideas imaginable. Take, for example, the changing of "hella cool" to "hecka cool." Now you just sound ridiculous. Or perhaps "fetching" instead of the F-word. Not that I advocate the usage of said word, but if "fetching" is the best you can come up with as a substitute, then just don't talk. By saying "fetching," you have the same intent as saying the actual word, but you sound dumb as a brick. Again, not that I support the use of any curse words, but I hate that Mormons feel the need to swear, and so come up with these ridiculous substitutions. And if your alternate word sounds normal and flows well, I will gladly approve of it. Otherwise, Mormonized swearing is really a blight on our Mormon culture.
I guess that's enough ranting for now. But just watch out for examples of Mormonization in your world. I guarantee that if you are Mormon, you'll be able to find plenty of examples. And this isn't to say that everything Mormon is bad, I just find that when Mormons get ahold of good things, they oftentimes become crappy. So my advice to you I guess is to keep it real. Don't try to make things fit your culture. Accept them for what they are, whether good or bad, and let them be. Trust me, it will work out in everyone's best interest.
Conquering the World
The support for Conquistador History Month has been unprecedented over the last week. You guys sure do know how to conquer for king and country. I want to share some pictures of two fellow conquistadors who truly took the idea of Conquistador History Month to heart. These girls knew the plan and didn't take no for an answer.
People had no idea what had hit them. The conquerings continued as people would leave their doors open, only to return and have various objects in their room now under the command of the glorious nation of Spain. It was truly a genius plan, one that would have been honored highly by the conquistadors of old.
I encourage everyone to keep up the excellent work and continue reporting any and all conquering that occurs over the next week.
People had no idea what had hit them. The conquerings continued as people would leave their doors open, only to return and have various objects in their room now under the command of the glorious nation of Spain. It was truly a genius plan, one that would have been honored highly by the conquistadors of old.
I encourage everyone to keep up the excellent work and continue reporting any and all conquering that occurs over the next week.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Conquistador History Month
At long last, the time has come. It is time to celebrate the month we have all been waiting for. Conquistador History Month. The time when we celebrate those brave souls who ventured across the Atlantic Ocean to conquer the New World. To pillage, plunder, and rape the natives until they were completely subordinate. Oh and a lot of quality killing as well. It is a month of joy and prosperity for all.
What's that you say? Something about February being Black History Month? That used to be the case. We used to view the month of February as a time to honor the African Americans in our past who have helped make our magnificent country what it is today. But really, did blacks ever do anything with their month? I guess we had a few special presentations about civil rights and whatnot. But I always find that watching Remember the Titans is about all the civil rights activism I can handle in a two hour period. The real answer is no. February has never really been fully utilized as Black History Month.
So what happened was the conquistadors decided to make the best of this opportunity and conquer the month of February in the name of Spain and all other conquistadors. And now it belongs to them. February is no longer a month to celebrate our black heritage, but now a month to learn of the great men who conquered the New World. Who came and took what they wanted, killing any indigenous peoples in their way. It's a month to take the things you want; to conquer those things that should belong to you. And to do it all in the name of Spain.
Any act of conquering, regardless of size, is still a great honor to the conquistadors of the past. I plan to claim the entire Cannon Center for my king and country this week. I will be claiming it in the name of Spain and giving the glory to His Majesty, King Phillip III. I may not have immediate command over the Cannon Center, but it will be mine nonetheless.
I want to encourage all of my readers to conquer something this week. Be it something as simple as the food on your plate at dinner, a drinking fountain, a post on Facebook; almost anything can be claimed in the name of Spain. You don't need anything special to conquer something. All you have to do is announce to all around you that you are claiming said object in the name of Spain. Please let me know anything you have conquered so we can celebrate your success.
I know that this idea of Conquistador History Month is a new concept for most people and it might not make immediate sense. But worry not, because I am here to clear up any confusion about this month of glory. I will be posting periodically all month about some of my favorite conquistadors in history. Hopefully that will inspire people to go out and conquer. In the meantime, I'm going to end with another obscure song. It's by a rap group called Binary Star. In this song, they discuss how they are taking over the rap game. Listening to it is a great way to get in the mood to conquer anything.
Good luck out there to all of my fellow conquistadors. By the end of this month, I want everyone to be able to claim that their life is also like the Otis video on repeat.
What's that you say? Something about February being Black History Month? That used to be the case. We used to view the month of February as a time to honor the African Americans in our past who have helped make our magnificent country what it is today. But really, did blacks ever do anything with their month? I guess we had a few special presentations about civil rights and whatnot. But I always find that watching Remember the Titans is about all the civil rights activism I can handle in a two hour period. The real answer is no. February has never really been fully utilized as Black History Month.
So what happened was the conquistadors decided to make the best of this opportunity and conquer the month of February in the name of Spain and all other conquistadors. And now it belongs to them. February is no longer a month to celebrate our black heritage, but now a month to learn of the great men who conquered the New World. Who came and took what they wanted, killing any indigenous peoples in their way. It's a month to take the things you want; to conquer those things that should belong to you. And to do it all in the name of Spain.
Any act of conquering, regardless of size, is still a great honor to the conquistadors of the past. I plan to claim the entire Cannon Center for my king and country this week. I will be claiming it in the name of Spain and giving the glory to His Majesty, King Phillip III. I may not have immediate command over the Cannon Center, but it will be mine nonetheless.
I want to encourage all of my readers to conquer something this week. Be it something as simple as the food on your plate at dinner, a drinking fountain, a post on Facebook; almost anything can be claimed in the name of Spain. You don't need anything special to conquer something. All you have to do is announce to all around you that you are claiming said object in the name of Spain. Please let me know anything you have conquered so we can celebrate your success.
I know that this idea of Conquistador History Month is a new concept for most people and it might not make immediate sense. But worry not, because I am here to clear up any confusion about this month of glory. I will be posting periodically all month about some of my favorite conquistadors in history. Hopefully that will inspire people to go out and conquer. In the meantime, I'm going to end with another obscure song. It's by a rap group called Binary Star. In this song, they discuss how they are taking over the rap game. Listening to it is a great way to get in the mood to conquer anything.
Good luck out there to all of my fellow conquistadors. By the end of this month, I want everyone to be able to claim that their life is also like the Otis video on repeat.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
I'm Here to Harass the World
So I've decided to start writing a blog. Not so much about my life and personal feelings and garbage like that. But more about my sarcastic views on the world. I'm sure parts of my life will blend in somewhere, but I'll try to keep any boring sentimental stuff out of here.
The title is a pretty solid indication that this isn't really a serious blog. I want to apologize in advance for anything offensive that I write on here, it's all in fun. Like Ludacris says, "If you can't take the heat, then get out the kitchen." That quote is slightly edited of course, I'll do my best to keep the language clean. I try to live by the motto "Prose before hoes." It seems to work out for me most of the time.
I guess the main reason I want to start this blog is for the celebration of a special occurrence in the month of February that will be announced in a few days. In the meantime, I might as well keep a blog up to supplement my sarcastic remarks on Twitter. If I throw out quotes or lines that don't make any sense, they're probably from an obscure rap song or from a Dom Mazzetti video. I tend to quote those a lot. Oh and I have no idea how often I plan on writing on here. So don't expect consistent updates or anything like that.
In the meantime, if you desperately want to read something by me, (doubtful), go check out my Twitter, https://twitter.com/#!/Skippylow. They'll be short snippets, but I update that way more often than I plan on writing on here.
So that's about all I have to say for now, but I'll leave you with this video before I go. It's the inspiration for the name of the blog, I just thought I'd share it with the world.
That's justice.
The title is a pretty solid indication that this isn't really a serious blog. I want to apologize in advance for anything offensive that I write on here, it's all in fun. Like Ludacris says, "If you can't take the heat, then get out the kitchen." That quote is slightly edited of course, I'll do my best to keep the language clean. I try to live by the motto "Prose before hoes." It seems to work out for me most of the time.
I guess the main reason I want to start this blog is for the celebration of a special occurrence in the month of February that will be announced in a few days. In the meantime, I might as well keep a blog up to supplement my sarcastic remarks on Twitter. If I throw out quotes or lines that don't make any sense, they're probably from an obscure rap song or from a Dom Mazzetti video. I tend to quote those a lot. Oh and I have no idea how often I plan on writing on here. So don't expect consistent updates or anything like that.
In the meantime, if you desperately want to read something by me, (doubtful), go check out my Twitter, https://twitter.com/#!/Skippylow. They'll be short snippets, but I update that way more often than I plan on writing on here.
So that's about all I have to say for now, but I'll leave you with this video before I go. It's the inspiration for the name of the blog, I just thought I'd share it with the world.
That's justice.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)